Nicole vs. Life
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
should my penis look like a turkey
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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