what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
