I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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