You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
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He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
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Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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