I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
