They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
