He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
