We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
