Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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