: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
