his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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