Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
