By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
