Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
