so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
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four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
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Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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