Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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