whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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