I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
