did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
