girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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