what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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