girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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