I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
