im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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