We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
