Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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