i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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