so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
