Nicole vs. Life
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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