Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
