Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
