I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize