I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
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The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
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Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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