I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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