also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
