My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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