She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
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There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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