u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
