Where are you?
In a non slutty way
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize