I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
you had me at cake vodka
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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