didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
