Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
