I want to make a zoo with you.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
