That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
