I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
