There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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