Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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