You're my little dorito
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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