Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize