he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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