Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
