I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
