didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
