im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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