I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's shark week go big or go home
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
