so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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