who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
