I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
