make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
