as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
