I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
