Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
