He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
