Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
