sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
