So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
