You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
