he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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