I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
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