Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
